The Most (and Least) Cringe-Worthy Brand April Fools’ Pranks of 2019

Gullible citizens of the internet, beware. You’re about to see a lot of brands announcing new products today, all of which serendipitously seem to release on April 1.

It’s April Fools’ Day, and just because Microsoft’s abstaining from pranking festivities this year, that hasn’t deterred other companies from celebrating the holiday.

Here’s a roundup of who’s (not really) doing what, so that you don’t get had.

Mr. Potato Head isn’t getting replaced with man-bunned Mr. Avo Head

Don’t worry. Your carby childhood friend hasn’t fallen victim to a millennial rebrand–we don’t care how many Instagram followers Mr. Avo Head has.

Courtesy of Mr. Potato Head

Gender reveal mozzarella sticks aren’t coming to a frozen food aisle near you

Your Facebook timeline is truly #blessed.

SodaStream didn’t discover how to turn burps into Seltzer

… yet.

Dunkin’ didn’t created its first-ever, edible Super Dough Coffee Holder

Not an April Fools’ Day prank: Dunkin’s Peeps-flavored coffee

Tinder’s new height verification feature is a lie

Let the catfishing continue.

McDonald’s isn’t rolling out milkshake-flavored dipping sauces

All sweet and no sour.

HyperX and Nissin aren’t collaborating on Cup of Noodles headphones

Dr. Dre just took a big sigh of relief.

White Castle’s auctioning off a 98-year-old burger

No need to participate in the live stream auction of the chain’s first Original Slider, carbon frozen since 1921.

Fresh Direct didn’t figure out how to turn cauliflower into dairy-free milk

Caulk isn’t real, but pea milk certainly is.

Halo Top unfortunately didn’t invent edible, ice cream face masks

This is a 17-step skin care regiment in which I’d happily partake.

Roku didn’t create a dog-friendly remote control

Your pooch can’t use the Press Paw remote to catch up on Vanderpump Rules.

Tik Tok didn’t hire DJ Khaled as a c-suite exec

The rapper announced he was the company’s new Chief Motivation Officer.

Shutterstock isn’t going brick-and-mortar

The video and image online marketplace said it was building the world’s largest physical library with 250 million images, 14 million reels of film, and 20,000 music tracks.

Google hasn’t found a way to let you talk to tulips

Although, the tech giant will let you play Snake on Google Maps for the next week.

Burger King actually IS launching a plant-based burger with Impossible Foods

Although it did successfully trick carnivores into thinking it was meat.

Virgin Voyages won’t fly customers to cruise ships via private jet

Only Richard Branson gets to do that. (Probably.)